I'd really love to start this journal off with a riddle or amybe even a poem but unfortunatly i dont really know any good riddles and im not very good with poetry. it almost seems like a tragedy doesnt it. very often i feel completely talentless and honestly that leads feelings of worthlessness which then leads to feelings of regret and so on. its funny how insecure one person alone can feel but whats more of a laughing matter is that more often than never you think you know so much about certain people and chancesare you really have no idea what their feeling inside. its amazing how good we secretly all are at acting. acting like everything is ok and that the little things people say dont sometimes hurt us and that their really easy to just forget about. well you know what the truth is i usually never forget the little things people say to me that hurt and i almost always remember them when im feeling my worst. thoughts are kinda like the monsters you used to think were hiding in your closetwhen you were a kid if you just keep hiding under the covers whenever your afraid to look and dont bother to cry to your parents for help then those monsters will just keep eating away at your mind and it will eventually come to a point where u can barely even sleep anymore bcuz u feel like the covers wont protect you anymore bcuz the monsters have become a part of you and sub conciously taking control of you while you on the occasional day when you do manage to get that wink of sleep you find yourself dreaming of the things that haunt your imagination while your awake until nothing seems to make sense anymore and you start to find yourself constantly crying and you just cant stop until someone comes in and asks whats wrong then you find yourself in the same predicamaent you were in from the beginning the thing that got yourself into this mess in the first place the reason you cant sleep or look the ones you love directly in the eyes anymore its like a curse that slowly gets to you without you realizing it and eventually makes you feel trapped like you cant run away and hide from the monsters that you created and got too caught up in but then as soon as that person walks in your suddenly all better again for a second you actually feel like a normal human being fro once only your not normal your wearing a mask a very dark disturbing mask that noone else can see even you yourself are oblivious to it all untill its finally too late youve let the mask become a part of you its like its glued to your face and you can never let others see who you really are you cant tell them that the monsters have gotten to you and that youve gotten to the point of no escape and that you can never go back to being just you that youll always be hiding behind this mask because this mask is you now the monsters have taken over youve lost almost all hope and this cry for help is not enough to save you from your own puzzled mind. the deception that you have spread like a disease, is something that you can never fully recover from and those around you will never know that you yourself are the monster hiding in your closet and that monster never dies.